


I go to my corner, too

by MagicInMe123



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, AvaLance, But only a little, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Get Sara Lance some self-worth 2k19, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Protective Ava, Sara Lance Needs a Hug, Yes this is another Ava helps Sara with her nightmares fic, starts a little slow but it gets gooood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 15:16:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18593890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicInMe123/pseuds/MagicInMe123
Summary: “What’s wrong, you want me to check under the bed for monsters?” Ava joked.Sara shifted her weight and rolled over on her side but laughed it off, not wanting her girlfriend to catch on to her discomfort on the subject.There's no need to check under the bed when the monster is already sleeping next to youOr, Sara has some pretty rough nightmares and they’re preventing her from being the girlfriend that Ava deserves.





	I go to my corner, too

Ava wasn’t _obsessing_ per say.

Really, she’s not.

Just because she’s reread her texts with Sara from the past day and half about three separate times now did not mean that she’s hyper-focused on this. Honestly, it was concern more than anything else. What kind of girlfriend would she be if she didn’t try to help Sara when something was so clearly bothering her. The Time Bureau director had, once again, asked her girlfriend if she wanted to sleep over after their dinner date – a luxury they almost never had time to enjoy – and Sara had once again declined her offer, citing her go-to excuse that she couldn’t leave the Legends alone on the Waverider for more than a few hours at the time or else, as she had once put it, ‘the inmates take over the asylum.’

Last night had been the last straw; ever since she and Sara had begun dating, the shorter blonde had all but flat out refused to spend the night with her. And by spend the night, Ava means actually sleeping over with her; Sara Lance had no problem taking her to bed for other things.

But after what felt like the hundredth time Sara had loved her and left her, so to speak, Ava’s patience had started to run thin. She had tried to bring it up as casually as possible, doing her best not to spook her girlfriend. The Director had started with little comments like, ‘it’s pretty late babe, you can stay over if you want,’ or ‘I have an extra toothbrush if you just want to sleep here,’ and in moments of true weakness, ‘just stay here my love, the Waverider will still be there tomorrow, please.’ Sara somehow managed to reject her the politest ways imaginable; she always had an excuse for why she had to get back to the ship or claiming that she didn’t want to disrupt Ava’s routine or make her late for work.

It’s not as though Ava hadn’t noticed the pattern or didn’t think it was weird, of course she did. She did not get to be the director of Time Bureau alongside a bunch of old, sexist white men without being pretty damn smart. Along with the very specific and untimely death of the former Director, but that was beside the point.

But Ava was never one to pressure; if Sara wanted to take things slow this time around, then slow was fine with her. Sleepovers were a normal part of any relationship – at least in Ava’s experience – but maybe Sara felt weird about having Ava on the Waverider? But that wouldn’t explain why she was so hesitant to stay the night in Ava’s private and non-time traveling apartment. Ava considered confronting Sara but things were still a little fragile since they had just gotten back together and she was afraid to do something to push her away.

Ava was no fool; she knew that there was something dark lurking behind Sara’s strict no sleepovers rule. The juxtaposition was so complicated; Sara was clearly going out of her way to spend as much time with her as possible – as much that their busy schedules would allow – but even after they had sex and the smaller woman was visibly exhausted, she would force herself out of bed, tug her clothes on, and groggily portal her way back onto her ship. It broke Ava’s heart to see the blonde’s clearly spent arm muscles tremble lightly with the exertion of pushing herself up off the mattress.

Ava had pleaded with her to stay, pointing out that Sara was obviously physically exhausted. Sara had quickly volleyed back one of her typical excuses about not wanting to make Ava late for work to which the older blonde replied that even the Director of the Time Bureau had to take some days off and tomorrow happened to be one of those days. Sara had frozen; she looked like a rabbit caught in a trap and her eyes had darted almost manically all over the room, as if the objects inside Ava’s bedroom would provide her an escape route.

Ava had snapped at her, all but demanding that Sara explain her strange behavior. She wanted to believe that Sara cared about her as much as she claimed to, but it was difficult not to take it personally when Sara would rather push herself to her physical breaking point than sleep over in the agent’s bed.

In typical Sara Lance fashion, she had bolted and had been avoiding Ava’s calls ever since.

It took two days and a Legends’ trip to France, 1809, for Sara to come around and call Ava. The smaller blonde had acted as if their argument had never happened and offered to take her girlfriend out for a movie, ‘like a normal couple,’ Sara had joked. Ava accepted the offer but requested that they stay in and watch something in Ava’s apartment; Sara’s expression had flickered for just a second before she readily agreed.

The couple was now happily nestled together on Ava’s bed, watching _Swamp Thaaaaang_ , the fifth movie in the _Swamp Thang_ franchise. The movie was tragically boring and pathetically cheesy, just like the fourth movie in the series, but Ava was actually pretty grateful for it. If the movie wasn’t worth watching – and it really, really wasn’t – it provided the perfect opportunity for her to talk to Sara.

“Hey Babe?” Ava said, breaking the comfortable silence they had been enjoying.  

“Hmm?” Sara hummed in reply, eyes still locked on the swamp monster occupying the screen.

“Can we talk about something for a minute?”

The effect on Sara was immediate; she went from resting comfortably in Ava’s embrace to rigid posture and tense muscles, as if she were preparing for a sparring session instead of a conversation.

“No, wait,” Ava backtracked. “It’s nothing bad, I promise.”

Sara chuckled lightly, “In my experience, those words never mean anything good.”

Ava pecked her lightly on the cheek, “You’ve never heard those words from Ava Sharpe before.”

“Fair enough,” Sara agreed. Ava smiled smugly when she felt her girlfriend’s muscles relax once again. “Hit me.”

“I actually wanted to talk about the other night,” Ava said slowly, gauging Sara’s reaction.

“I really enjoyed the other night,” Sara whispered into the shell of Ava’s ear, sending a shiver down the girl’s spine.

“Me too,” Ava agreed, willing herself not to get distracted by Sara’s charms. “But you know what would’ve made it better?”

“What’s that?” Sara murmured against tan skin, her face now lightly nuzzling Ava’s neck.

“If you had slept over,” Ava said, ripping off the Band-Aid. The taller girl expected a similar reaction from her girlfriend as the one she’d gotten when she first said they should talk but to her surprise, Sara just smirked playfully and said “Noted.”

“So does that mean you’ll stay tonight?” Ava prodded hopefully.  

Sara released a deep breath, pulling away from her position molded to Ava body and sat up straight, pulling her legs in to a criss cross position in front of her.

“I would love to,” Sara started, eyes clearly locked on a spot just above Ava’s head. “But I can’t tonight.”

Ava released an annoyed groan. “What’s your excuse this time?”

That got Sara’s attention; her eyes snapped immediately to Ava’s confrontational ones and met her gaze.

“ _Excuse_ me?”

“What’s it gonna be tonight? Can’t leave the Legends alone on the Waverider? Or maybe there’s an emergency time travelling trip you need to make to 1920? Or perhaps you need your personal white noise machine to sleep?” Ava sniped.

Part of Sara felt her blood boil as she was not one to back down from a fight, ever. But Ava was not wrong to be frustrated with her; her girlfriend had been nothing but supportive and understanding throughout their entire relationship. Sara knew that she deserved some answers.

Sara was trying to collect her thoughts and figure out a way to tell Ava enough that she backed off the subject, but not so much that she scared her girlfriend away. Before she could articulate her thoughts, a suddenly vulnerable looking Ava unleashed the full force of her blue eyes on her.

“Is it,” Ava hesitated. “Is it me?”

“Oh God, Ava, no,” Sara groaned. “This is coming off all wrong. I’m doing this because I care about you. I’m not exactly the safest sleep over buddy. Sometimes I have…weird dreams and I don’t want to hurt you.”

 “I don’t need you to protect me Sara, we’re supposed to be a team,” she shot back.

“We are a team,” Sara agreed softly, eyes apologetic.

“Then let me help you,” Ava pleaded. “Please?”

“I can’t do that,” Sara whispered, slipping out of Ava’s personal space and moving to the edge of the bed.

“Why not?” Ava demanded, frustration leaking into her tone.

“Because Ava,” Sara sighed, lowering her voice. She was doing her best not to yell back but Ava was really pushing her to her breaking point. “Because I don’t deserve it.”

“What?” Ava asked, incredulously. “You don’t deserve what Sara? To have the person who loves you comfort you after you wake up from a terrifying nightmare?”

Sara didn’t even question how Ava had extrapolated ‘terrifying nightmares’ from ‘weird dreams.’ It unnerved the former assassin how well Ava seemed to know her sometimes, uncovering her secrets without even trying.

“Yes,” Sara whispered, dropping her head into her hands and threading her fingers through her silky blond locks.

Ava sensed that she had worn down her girlfriend’s walls considerably and got off of her bed to eliminate the distance between them. Ava walked around the other side of her bed to where Sara was still perched on the edge. She knelt down in front of her still seated girlfriend and gently reached out with her long fingers to carefully lift Sara’s head out of her heads so she could see the clear blue eyes she loved so much.

“Sara… _why?_ ” Ava begged, tenderly rubbing her thumb along Sara’s freckled cheek.

“Because they’re not just nightmares,” she answered quietly, breaking the eye contacting she had been working to maintain. “They’re memories.”

Ava let out a sympathetic sigh, “Babe, most people I know would never have survived half of what you’ve lived through. I would think you were weird if you _didn’t_ have a hard time with the memories sometimes.

Huffing in frustration, Sara stood from her seated position and pulled her face from Ava’s comforting menstruations. The captain found herself unable to remain still and accept her girlfriend’s comfort; she needed to be moving. Sara felt like a shark, like she would die if she stood still for even a moment. While many of her girlfriend’s actions were still a mystery to her, Ava knew better than to approach a cagey Sara while she was upset.

“You don’t understand,” Sara offered in explanation, stilling after a few more paces across the room.

Ava stood too but still maintained a respectful distance from the other girl.

“Then help me understand.”

Sara’s eyes shot over to find the stormy blue eyes she’d come to love so much. There was something about Ava that made Sara feel like she could tell her anything and the taller blonde would stay by her side.

 Maybe it was time to trust that gut instinct, time to trust Ava.

“Okay,” Sara nodded, the fight seeping from her body as her shoulders sagged bonelessly.

“Okay,” Ava grinned infectiously.

* * *

20 minutes and two glasses of whiskey later, the couple was resting comfortably on Ava’s enticingly soft couch. They had made small talk on their way to the kitchen and exchanged playful banter while pouring the drinks but when they sat down, the air between them changed. Ava had questions that she was dying to ask Sara but she knew that it was important for the shorter blonde to share when she was ready.

“I have nightmares from my time training to join and being inducted into the League, obviously,” Sara began. “But those aren’t the nightmares that really…get to me.”

The couples’ hands were clasped gently between them and Ava rubbed comforting circles on the back of Sara’s hands and pretended not to notice when her’s trembled.

“The ones that are truly disorienting, the ones I don’t want you around for,” She breathed out shakily. “Those nightmares are from my time in the League as an assassin.”

“Oh Sara,” Ava sighed, her heart shattering for the beautiful girl in front of her.

“When I wake up, a lot of the time I don’t know where,” Sara’s voice cracked with emotion. “or _when_ I am. And that’s really dangerous.”

“Sara, I -”

“Please, let me finish?” Sara begged, squeezing their clasped hands together for emphasis.

Ava bit her lip and nodded in acquiesce.

“I have hurt so many people,” she continued, eyes clouded over. “And have taken so many lives from people who didn’t deserve to die.”

“But that’s not who you are anymore,” Ava squeezed her hand tighter, trying to bring the captain out of her memories and back into the present. “And you have done so much good in your life.”

Tears leaked from steely blue eyes and Ava felt guilty for noticing how electric and bright Sara’s eyes got when she cried. She was unable to stand even the minimal distance between them anymore and wrapped her long arm around Sara’s shoulders and carefully tugged her girlfriend into her lap. The former assassin resisted the comforting embrace she wanted so badly so succumb to and tried to refrain from melting in Ava’s arms.

“It’s okay,” Ava murmured gently in Sara’s ears. “I’ve got you.”

Those were the perfect words. Sara stopped resisting the comfort she so wanted to accept from her girlfriend and allowed herself to be pulled against Ava’s chest. The taller blonde smiled gently and wrapped one arm securely around Sara’s slim waist and cradled Sara’s head in the crook of her other arm.

“You can’t keep punishing yourself and denying yourself comfort just because you feel bad for things you did a lifetime ago,” Ava counseled softly. She didn’t expect her words to magically fix everything for Sara or even to sink in. But she hoped that if she reminded her girlfriend often enough, one day she would understand that she was a good person who had more than righted the wrongs of her past.

Sara sighed contently, unable to recall a time she had felt as at peace as she did in that moment.  

“I love you, Sara Lance. Bad dreams, body count, and all,” she smirked with a playful shoulder bump. It was a lame joke but it made Sara to smile. Ava knew then that she would spend the rest of life telling stupid jokes to make Sara smile, so long as the other blonde would let her.

“I love you too, Ava,” Sara said softly, allowing her hand to carefully brush one of Ava’s stray hairs out of her face and tucked it behind her ear.

“Good, now let’s go to bed,” Ava suggested, standing from the couch and tugging her girlfriend up along with her.

Sara still looked uncertain.

“Hey,” Ava said quietly. “It’s you and me, always. I can handle whatever you throw at me.”

“You mean that? Even if I literally throw things at you?” Sara deadpanned.

Ava chuckled, squeezing Sara in a hug and dropped a lingering kiss on her forehead.

“Even if you literally throw things at me,” she parroted back. “You seem to be forgetting that not only am I a federal agent, I can, and have, beaten you in hand to hand combat.”

All of Sara’s self-deprecating thoughts vanished in an instant and she pulled back to look at Ava indignantly.

“ _Excuse_ me,” Sara said incredulously. “Did you hit your head on something? Are you feeling dizzy, nauseous?” She reached her hand up and pressed it against Ava’s forehead, playfully checking for a fever.

The taller blonde promptly swatted the hand away and bit back her smile, happy to have the juvenile, fun side of her girlfriend make an appearance.

“At the very least,” Ava appeased. “You can admit that we’re likely to draw. I can take it.”

Sara’s smiled up at her girlfriend with so much love and affection that Ava had no choice but to lean down and capture the shorter girl’s with her own in a gentle kiss.

“Now,” Ava said, pulling away. “Let’s go spend the night in our bed.”

Sara grinned back, “I like the sound of that, our bed.”

Ava pulled Sara up and along by the hand towards their bedroom, sizing the other girl up seductively. The agent opened the bedroom door and immediately started unbuttoning her shirt.

“You know, there is one way to make sure you don’t have nightmares.”

“Yeah?" Sara played along, eyes glazing over with lust as she watched her girlfriend strip. “How’s that?”

“Well,” Ava teased, reaching for Sara’s top and shedding the other girl of her shirt. “We’ll just have to wear you out.” Ava molded their lips together in a searing kiss. The taller girl slipped her tongue into Sara’s mouth, eliciting a moan from the shorter blonde as their tongues battled for dominance.

“I think I can get on board with that idea,” Sara gasped as Ava broke their lip lock and began leaving bruising kisses along Sara’s pale neck.

“I’m glad,” she mumbled into the skin, nipping and sucking her way down to the blonde’s breasts she loved so much. With a sharp intake of breath, Sara kicked the bedroom door closed behind them.

That night, Sara had one of the most restful sleeps she’d had in years, free of nightmares and full of dreams about Ava Sharpe.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Truly, I need to stop writing Avalance fics instead of doing my homework or else I'm really going to fail my senior year of University.


End file.
